I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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