too bad you live with your parents still
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
