I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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