I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
