I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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