i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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