People in love make me want to vomit
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
