My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
