I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
