So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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