We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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