it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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