remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
