I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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