I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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