Kiss
Puke
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
