Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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