Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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