garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
