I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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