I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
