office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
