Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
