Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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