At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
