butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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