It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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