Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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