capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
