11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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