Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
