Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
