The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
