He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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