i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize