I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
