Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
