I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
