After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
