As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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