when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
