so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
