Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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