ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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