Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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