I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize