A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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