i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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