That's intense
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
And then he peed in my hair
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