He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
