Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize