Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize