this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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