I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
