you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
