So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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