do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
